How I feel this morning.

Odee

I'm tired today. My BP was VERY high two days ago and I still don't know why. Blood sugar is WAY up...that was the chocolate from 'that' week. BUT my scale is going down. at least that I can smile about.

My Doc is so mean to me. AND I caught her in a lie. I don't think having a doc in walking distance is going to be worth it if she is mean and doesn't listen. She is also an undergraduate and I wonder if that makes a difference. She keeps giving me samples of stuff that cost $5 a day to take and that makes me sick! She she gets this very nasty face when I told her I stopped taking it because my liver and kidney started pinging (and failing) just like they did after I had the infection with my oldest and all most died. She didn't care I should have stayed on them. I got my AC1 down from 15 to 9 from Nov to Jan. Apparently I am on the right track and she wants me to 'keep an open mind' about taking insulin and other MEDs...ummm why exactly? frustrating. I had an AWESOME team of doctors in Red Deer but my son was dying there.

The move has been very very good for us. We still struggle with money but not NEARLY as bad and almost staving to death in Red Deer, on more than one occasion! I do miss the fam a little even though I was so sick in Red Deer I barely ever made the effort to go see anyone. I didn't want peeps to drop over because I couldn't keep my house clean enough and I was embarrassed. Also getting together for me was difficult and painful. By the time I got better I was a little forgotten about and about the time everyone made SURE I was loved and checked up on and invited to go do stuff WE MOVED. Ugh. could have had so much fun!

My hubby seems to finally be really happy here. I don't think I have ever seen him happy anywhere. If his family moved closer would be nice, more drama but we love them so who cares?!? We are missing out on the twins a little. That was a dirty trick lol I found out today that there seem to be no Restaurant Hood cleaners in this part of Ontario, Bet Nephew could make a killing here. There are no jobs over here is another why I haven't mentioned much about Family moving over here. We plan to go the summer of 2017 if this system is still the same.

Painful topic for me this whole not celebrating my 20 years wedding anniversary. I'm not mad at my husband for not being here...although I will get LOTS of gifts. :) I am however very upset with his friends. It has been obvious from the beginning that they care nothing for me. This proves it...how could you schedule the bio challenge right in the middle of our anniversary? I would never stop my wonderful husband from going, this will be an epic trip for him. I will never forgive his friends though but since they don't care, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to guilt my husband either, because he will be beating HIMSELF up enough. I don't need to say a word. Poor guy. Praying he has fun and it will be all worth it to him.

 I should make friends here but its to hard. I don't relate well to people. I got so burnt in Stettler that I can't see people the same. I ALWAYS wonder if they are calculating now to punch me in the face later like she did. AND I can read micro expressions VERY well now. What a MISTAKE that training was. Good lord if people knew what they said with their face they would put a bag over their head! I mean WOW. One person is so severally depressed. I wonder if she will take her life. She doesn't let anyone close to her. I pray for her daily even though I can only love her from afar. I love her dearly.

Can't talk about the cancer though, makes me sick to think about it. How many more hearts will cancer break before Jehovah saves us all? I really hope the promise that we will not remember the horrible times on the paradise earth will be the truest one of all. My poor babies, how much they will miss.

Glad I found this inactive blog...might use it as my diary, felt nice to get that off my stuff off my chest.

my son farts 10min before he wakes up EVERY morning like clock work...it is so funny to me!

Good morning diary, My prayers to Jehovah. Odee